Here's Why We Grieve Today

When I woke up yesterday it was to a different world, a different way of thinking about who we are as a nation. I was ashamed of us. I recited the Pledge with my second graders - and it made me tear up. We - most of us - voted for a man we KNOW to be despicable, a man we wouldn't want our daughters to date or to teach our sons. We voted for a man who is outwardly a racist, who mocks those who are handicapped, who insults women and laughs about it. 

I read this piece by John Pavlovitz and he said it so clearly that I reposted it here. Please read his words. His blog is on my scroll. Add it to yours.

Here’s Why We Grieve Today

NOVEMBER 9, 2016 / JOHN PAVLOVITZ

I don’t think you understand us right now.

I think you think this is about politics. 

I think you believe this is all just sour grapes; the crocodile tears of the losing locker room with the scoreboard going against us at the buzzer.

I can only tell you that you’re wrong. This is not about losing an election.This isn’t about not winning a contest. This is about two very different ways of seeing the world.

Hillary supporters believe in a diverse America; one where religion or skin color or sexual orientation or place of birth aren’t liabilities or deficiencies or moral defects. Her campaign was one of inclusion and connection and interdependency. It was about building bridges and breaking ceilings. It was about going high. I don’t think you understand us right now.

I think you think this is about politics. 

I think you believe this is all just sour grapes; the crocodile tears of the losing locker room with the scoreboard going against us at the buzzer.

I can only tell you that you’re wrong. This is not about losing an election.This isn’t about not winning a contest. This is about two very different ways of seeing the world.

Hillary supporters believe in a diverse America; one where religion or skin color or sexual orientation or place of birth aren’t liabilities or deficiencies or moral defects. Her campaign was one of inclusion and connection and interdependency. It was about building bridges and breaking ceilings. It was about going high. 

Trump supporters believe in a very selective America; one that is largely white and straight and Christian, and the voting verified this. Donald Trump has never made any assertions otherwise. He ran a campaign of fear and exclusion and isolation—and that’s the vision of the world those who voted for him have endorsed.

They have aligned with the wall-builder and the professed p*ssy-grabber, and they have co-signed his body of work, regardless of the reasons they give for their vote:

Every horrible thing Donald Trump ever said about women or Muslims or people of color has now been validated.
Every profanity-laced press conference and every call to bully protestors and every ignorant diatribe has been endorsed.
Every piece of anti-LGBTQ legislation Mike Pence has championed has been signed-off on.

Half of our country has declared these things acceptable, noble,American. 

This is the disconnect and the source of our grief today. It isn’t a political defeat that we’re lamenting, it’s a defeat for Humanity.

We’re not angry that our candidate lost. We’re angry because our candidate’s losing means this country will be less safe, less kind, and less available to a huge segment of its population, and that’s just the truth.

Those who have always felt vulnerable are now left more so. Those whose voices have been silenced will be further quieted. Those who always felt marginalized will be pushed further to the periphery. Those who feared they were seen as inferior now have confirmation in actual percentages.

Those things have essentially been campaign promises of Donald Trump, and so many of our fellow citizens have said this is what they want too.  

This has never been about politics.
This is not about one candidate over the other.
It’s not about one’s ideas over another’s.
It is not blue vs. red.
It’s not her emails vs. his bad language.
It’s not her dishonesty vs. his indecency.

It’s about overt racism and hostility toward minorities.
It’s about religion being weaponized.
It’s about crassness and vulgarity and disregard for women.
It’s about a barricaded, militarized, bully nation.
It’s about an unapologetic, open-faced ugliness.

And it is not only that these things have been ratified by our nation that grieve us; all this hatred, fear, racism, bigotry, and intolerance—it’s knowing that these things have been amen-ed by our neighbors, our families, our friends, those we work with and worship alongside. That is the most horrific thing of all. We now know how close this is.

It feels like living in enemy territory being here now, and there’s no way around that. We wake up today in a home we no longer recognize. We are grieving the loss of a place we used to love but no longer do. This may be America today but it is not the America we believe in or recognize or want.

This is not about a difference of political opinion, as that’s far too small to mourn over. It’s about a fundamental difference in how we view the worth of all people—not just those who look or talk or think or vote the way we do.

Grief always laments what might have been, the future we were robbed of, the tomorrow that we won’t get to see, and that is what we walk through today. As a nation we had an opportunity to affirm the beauty of our diversity this day, to choose ideas over sound bytes, to let everyone know they had a place at the table, to be the beacon of goodness and decency we imagine that we are—and we said no.

The Scriptures say that weeping endures for a night but joy comes in the morning. We can’t see that dawn coming any time soon.

And this is why we grieve.

Trump vs. Emails

As we near the election, I am as worried as ever about our country. Just can't help it. Too much at stake. I can hardly believe that his has become a contest. I received an email from my sister - written by her good friend Dan. here it is.

Clinton emails. Trump admitting sexual assault. Clinton emails. Trump charity fraud. Clinton emails. Trump calls for nuclear proliferation. Clinton emails. Trump calls for national stop and frisk. Clinton emails. Trump violates trade embargo with Cuba. Clinton emails. Trump sued over Trump University fraud. Clinton emails. Trump bribes DA. Clinton emails. Trump doesn't pay taxes for 20 years. Clinton emails. Trump employs campaign manager involved in illegal corruption with Russia. Clinton emails. Trump calls for ban of an entire religion from entering US. Clinton emails. Trump lied about support for Iraq War over and over in debate. Clinton emails. Trump in court for rape of a minor. Clinton emails. Trump unaware of Russia's Crimea occupation. Clinton emails. Trump unaware of situation in Syria. Clinton emails. Trump penalized for racist housing discrimination. Clinton emails. Trump files for bankruptcy 6 times. Clinton emails. Trump goes 0-3 in debates by showing scant knowledge of world politics. Clinton emails. Trump slams people for being POWs. Clinton emails. Trump calls Mexicans rapists. Clinton emails. Trump questions judge's integrity because of parent's heritage. Clinton emails. Trump deletes emails involved in casino scandal. Clinton emails. Trump commits insurance fraud after Florida hurricane. Clinton emails. Trump has dozens of assault victims and witnesses come forward with allegations of abuse. Clinton emails. Trump attacks former Ms. Universe for being overweight. Clinton emails. Trump tweets about sex tapes at 3am. Clinton emails. Trump calls for US citizens to be sent to Gitmo. Clinton emails. Trump calls for more extreme forms of torture to be used. Clinton emails. Trump asks why cant we use our nukes if we have them. Clinton emails. Trump calls for offensive bombing attack on sovereign nations because someone gave the middle finger. Clinton emails. Trump calls to kill women and children of suspected terrorists. Clinton emails. Trump says women should be punished for having abortions. Clinton emails. Trump makes fun of disabled people. Clinton emails. Trump calls for end of freedom of the press. Clinton emails. Trump calls global warming a Chinese hoax. Clinton emails. Trump praises Putin and Kim Jong Un's strong leadership. Clinton emails. Trump openly admits to not paying his employees during debate. Clinton emails. Trump calls Obama an illegitimate noncitizen hundreds of times over 7 years. Clinton emails. Trump uses campaign donations to enrich his own businesses. Clinton emails. Trump says Ted Cruz involved in JFK assassination unironically citing National Enquirer. Clinton emails. Trump says laziness is an inherent trait in black people. Clinton emails.

Does that about sum up the last couple of months?

What has our nation come to when we consider a madman for president? If Hillary wins - which I pray for - What has happened to us that Trump has even gotten close to the nuclear codes?

I honestly fear for our children's future.

Touch

I feel remiss that I haven't posted in a long while.  I'd like to say that I am too busy.  Nah.  I just temporarily lost my writing mojo.  I'll get it back.

I've been thinking about my mom a lot lately.  Here is a repost from a few years ago.

Touch

There are several kids in my class who still hold hands.  It seems like the most natural thing in the world.  Interlacing your fingers with another’s must be one of the oldest human gestures.  It says so much.  That singular gesture is invariably positive.  It demonstrates trust, compassion, comfort, and friendship.  It is a sign of love.

My finger, your finger, my finger, your finger, my finger, your finger, my finger, your finger, my thumb – your thumb.  The webs between my fingers contacting yours.  The bones of my hand entwined with yours. 

When we are little we reach up for the hand of the people we love – sometimes just to be sure of them.  When we are big we reach down to show that we are there, that we care, that we must cross the street safely together, that we won’t get separated in a crowd.  We reach down to grasp a little hand almost as a reflex.  To express our love.  To show simply that we are within reach.

Babies are born with an intense need for touch.  Babies who spend a lot of time in hospitals and orphanages where they do not receive skin-to-skin contact fail to thrive.  I read about this interesting study where librarians were asked to alternately touch and not touch the hands of their students as they gave back their library cards.  Those whose hands had been touched by their librarian reported “far greater feelings about themselves, the library and the librarians than those who had not been touched.  This occurred even though the touch was fleeting and the students didn’t even remember it.”

In our classroom we touch pretty unselfconsciously.  Certain kids zoom in for a hug every morning.  Others opt for a fist bum or a hand slap.  Some will come in quietly without checking in with me.  I usually give them a noogie or a high five when we do catch up.  But we touch.

There are many girls who still hold hands in our classroom.  They grab hold when we walk to the public library, or to the recess field or to the cafeteria.  Some boys may still hold hands at the beginning of second grade, but by the end of third it is a rarity.  There are a couple of guys who are always sitting close enough so that their legs touch when they are on the floor.  And we do a lot of teaching and learning from the floor.  Our girls often touch, run their fingers through or smooth out each other’s hair.

This morning as my students took a big, high stakes test in our computer lab, the feeling in the room was one of intense concentration.  This was the kind of test that pushed every child to the wall.  I’ve written about this before.  It started out easy, but as they answered simple questions correctly, the subsequent questions were more and more challenging.  Glancing over their shoulders at the answer choices, I was amazed at how difficult this must have been for them.  And yet no one complained.  No one whined.  No one cracked under pressure.  I walked around the room every few minutes just checking in with a touch on the shoulder or a pat on the back.  To soothe, to connect, to praise them and to show my gratitude for their effort.   It was a gesture that words can’t quite explain. 

It’s sad to me that many of us become self-conscious about touch as we get older, especially guys.  At some undetermined age, and it is probably a little different for everyone, little ones (especially boys) stop holding hands with their friends, brothers and sisters and parents.  Girls are lucky in my opinion.  They can hold hands freely with their besties. 

I suppose holding hands for little boys is like crying when you hurt yourself.  At some point we stop crying for physical pain.  Comments like, “big boys don’t cry” probably help to extinguish it. 

When I was in Rwanda I saw men holding hands routinely.  My friend Brandon took a picture of two very rough looking soldiers in camouflage, each with a machine gun slung over his shoulders, holding hands walking down a busy street.  It was as natural as anything there. 

Adult guys can still hug briefly if there is a manly slap on the back at the end of the embrace.  Let’s not read anything too personal into this hug, right?  Shaking hands is the norm.  No weapons, right?

At the end of my mom’s life I was blessed to have been there for her final week.  We touched so often.  The first night I was there in New Mexico at my sister Ruthie’s I spent in the office guest room.  Then for the next several nights I slept with my mom.  I needed her touch.  And I think she needed mine.  I think she needed grounding.  I think she needed to be sure of me.  We slept with our legs touching or my hand on her shoulder, or holding hands.   And through the days and evenings when she was awake we sat close enough to touch.  During her final hours, when she had lost consciousness, Ruthie and I stroked her hair and rubbed her back.   We held her hand - just as she held ours when we were little, to protect us, to make sure we didn’t get lost or frightened, so we could be sure of her. 

I can smile when I remember her touch now.  But I miss that touch like nothing else.

I can think of my mom now and not cry every time at missing her.   I expect that I will cry for a long time when I remember her and miss her touch.  Even though big boys don’t cry.

Nuclear Football

Without any reference, after you read these actual words - you'll know who this is.


Look, having nuclear—my uncle was a great professor and scientist and engineer, Dr. John Trump at MIT; good genes, very good genes, OK, very smart, the Wharton School of Finance, very good, very smart—you know, if you’re a conservative Republican, if I were a liberal, if, like, OK, if I ran as a liberal Democrat, they would say I'm one of the smartest people anywhere in the world—it’s true!—but when you're a conservative Republican they try—oh, do they do a number—that’s why I always start off: Went to Wharton, was a good student, went there, went there, did this, built a fortune—you know I have to give my like credentials all the time, because we’re a little disadvantaged—but you look at the nuclear deal, the thing that really bothers me—it would have been so easy, and it’s not as important as these lives are (nuclear is powerful; my uncle explained that to me many, many years ago, the power and that was 35 years ago; he would explain the power of what's going to happen and he was right—who would have thought?), but when you look at what's going on with the four prisoners—now it used to be three, now it’s four—but when it was three and even now, I would have said it's all in the messenger; fellas, and it is fellas because, you know, they don't, they haven’t figured that the women are smarter right now than the men, so, you know, it’s gonna take them about another 150 years—but the Persians are great negotiators, the Iranians are great negotiators, so, and they, they just killed, they just killed us.






I only have two words to say.

Nuclear                     Football

Lesser Evil

I spotted this on line.  I couldn't embed the video, but it is pretty revealing.  I'll type out the transcript.

http://www.businessinsider.com/footage-things-donald-trump-claimed-did-not-say-hillary-clinton-2016-6

Hillary Clinton gave a speech in early June in which she quoted Trump.  It seemed a clever way to let Trump's own words reveal him to America.  Obviously people have been listening, but lots of people aren't hearing.

Clinton (in her speech) - He says he has foreign policy experience because he ran the Miss Universe pageant in Russia.

(cut to Trump speaking to interviewer) - I know Russia well.  I had a major event in Russia two or three years ago.  The Miss Universe contest which was a big, big incredible event.

After the speech Trump tweeted - In Crooked Hillary's teleprompter speech yesterday, she made up things that I said or believe but have no basis in fact.  Not Honest! 

Clinton tweeted back - You literally said all those things.

Clinton - He says he doesn't have to listen to our generals or admirals, our ambassadors, or other high officials because he has quote, "A very good brain."

Trump (on Good Morning Joe) - I'm speaking with myself number one because I have a very good brain and I've said a lot of things.

Clinton - He has said that he would order our military to carry out torture and the murder of civilians who are related to suspected terrorists.

Trump - (on Fox "NEWS")  Torture works, OK folks?  You know you have these guys [mocking feminine voice]..."Torture doesn't work."  Believe me.  It works, OK?...  They asked me the question, "What do you think of water boarding?"  Absolutely fine.  But we should go much stronger than water boarding.  That's the way I feel...  When you get these terrorists, you have to take out their families.

Clinton - And he said if he were grading Vladimir Putin as a leader, he'd give him an A.  

Trump - I think in terms of leadership, he's [Putin] getting an A.

Clinton - And he has the gall to say that prisoners of war like John McCain aren't heros.

Trump - He's not a war hero...  [Host - He's a war hero...  five-and-a-half years...]  Trump - He's a war hero 'cause he was captured.  I like people who aren't captured, OK?  I hate to tell you.

Clinton - He also said, "I know more about ISIS than the generals do.  Believe me."

Trump - I know more about ISIS than the generals do, believe me.

Clinton - Or he says he'll stay neutral on Israel's security.

Trump - I don't want to be in a position where I'm saying to you - and the other side now say [sic], "We don't want Trump involve [sic], we don't want."  Let me be sort of a neutral guy.  Let's see what, I'm gonna give it a shot.

Clinton - And he said this about a war between Japan and North Korea, and I quote, "If they do - they do.  Good luck.  Enjoy yourselves, folks."

Trump - And if they fight, you know what, there'll be a terrible thing.  Terrible.  Good luck.  Enjoy yourselves, folks.  If they fight, that would be terrible.  Right?  But if they do, they do.

This is a serious question.  Do you think he really didn't realize he said those things?  Because if he really thought Hillary Clinton was lying on him - then we are in for some serious trouble indeed if he becomes president of the United States.  Perhaps he doesn't realize that everything you say on camera is a permanent record.  You can't unsay something you blurted out on FOX "NEWS", or MSNBC, or CNN.  You can't pretend you can take back something you said on the TODAY Show.  Or maybe he thinks HE CAN.  Sort of the "BECAUSE I SAID SO!" thing.

In David Brooks most recent op-ed for the New York Times he said, Occasionally Trump will attempt a sentence longer than eight words, but no matter what subject he starts the sentence with, by the end he has been pulled over to the subject of himself. Here’s an example from the Mike Pence announcement speech: “So one of the primary reasons I chose Mike was I looked at Indiana, and I won Indiana big.” There’s sort of a gravitational narcissistic pull that takes command whenever he attempts to utter a compound thought...

It’s hard to know exactly what is going on in that brain, but science lends a clue. Psychologists wonder if narcissists are defined by extremely high self-esteem or by extremely low self-esteem that they are trying to mask. The current consensus seems to be that they are marked by unstable self-esteem. Their self-confidence can be both high and fragile, so they perceive ego threat all around...

And one of his most important points...  This is a unique moment in American political history in which the mental stability of one of the major party nominees is the dominating subject of conversation.

I am not surprised that he has his followers, people who will look past his very apparent mental instability and side with him anyway.  What surprises me is the sheer number of followers.  Because he speaks his mind?  Because he isn't politically correct?  Because he speaks for the working stiff?  Because he's not Hillary Clinton?  

None of this really makes sense to me.  He seems to offend almost everyone.  On purpose.  I get that Hillary Clinton is not a great choice.  Despite her experience on the world stage, she has truthiness issues.  She can be caustic.  She landed on the wrong side of the war in Iraq.  There is a long list of ideas I can't agree with and foreign policy blunders on record.  

But she is not mentally unstable.  

Don't you hate it when an election comes and neither candidate seems appropriate?  But this one for me is a no brainer.  I love my country too much.  

This time - it's lesser evil.

Life in the Woods

Living in the woods is the wild place to be. You never know what you're going to see when you walk outside. 

There is incredible diversity of animals and plants in this small area. There are spiders, frogs and toads, lizards and all different kinds of birds and insects. Every day is different than the day before. 

This morning I saw a garden spider, I think it's called an argiope. She had the coolest zigzag pattern in the middle of of her web. When I was watering the garden this great big American toad seemed to

just soak up the water that I was splashing around. I think it was grateful that I was watering. When I checked the bluebird box there were four little ones

craning their necks trying to get food they thought I had brought. And all of this took place in the span of about five minutes.

I know some people who hardly ever go outside. These people are afraid of every kind of animal. Even the thought of a mosquito bite or a bee sting makes them fearful. I don't know how people like that can enjoy living here. I mean they could be anywhere.  They could be in Minnesota or southern Florida it would all

be the same because all they would see are the four walls around them. The only air they would breathe would be conditioned.

When the weather is hot I'm sure my shirt is going to stick to my back and sweat is

going to drip for my eyebrows and onto my glasses. But I get to see the beautiful creatures that live naturally all around us.  I get to be a part of the same existence since we share the forest. 

I feel so blessed when I'm out and I get the chance to see a bumblebee buzzing around, knowing that our existence depends largely on that animal doing its job. When I see a hummingbird going from flower to flower in our garden I know we have provided some little treat, some small bit of sustenance for that beautiful creature.

The pictures in this post I took with my phone camera.  They may not be great works of art, but now I have pictures of many of my neighbors, some of my best friends, right here in my pocket.

The Confederate Flag - The South is Gonna Rise Again!

It was just about a year ago that the Confederate flag came down off of our State House here in South Carolina.  We had just suffered the tragedy of the Charleston Nine.  While Governor Nikki Haley wanted to come out the hero on this one, it was clear that she had no choice.  The emails that she received left it clear that the vast majority of South Carolinians had to have it down.  

"First, I am a member of the Sons of Confederate Veterans. Many of my ancestors served in the Southern Confederacy ... For many years I have been a supporter of keeping the flag in place on statehouse ground. However, the murder of the Rev. Clementa Pinckney along with 8 other of my Christian Brothers and Sisters changed my heart ... My Christian duty requires me to call for the removal of the Confederate Battle flag from statehouse grounds."
Randolph from Myrtle Beach, South Carolina

"About 2 weeks ago there was a shooting at Emanuel AME church. When I heard about this, I was sad as can be to know there are people out there against Black People."

Handwritten note, with a smiley face stamp and hearts, from Amayah, age 10

"The current flag needs to come down either way. It has been allowed to be hijacked by hate groups. Those that revere it while being upstanding Americans will suffer unfairly."

Larry from Charlotte, North Carolina

Of course there were many responses condemning Haley for her actions to take down the flag...

"While I do not minimize the tragedy to the families of the seven [there were nine] Negros [Negros, really?!] who lost their lives nor condone the actions of Dylann [sic] Roof, I consider you a disgrace and a traitor to America, to the state of South Carolina and to your race."

Mark from Middleburg, Florida

"The rebel flag means to me home. Southern pride. Wheat fields, sunflower fields, deer hunting, hard work, trucks, racing, family and pride in where I am from. Born and raised here and damn proud of it. Ignorance 'flies' both ways. An item can not be racist, unless you are an easily offended person, or racist yourself." [Stanley seems to be easily offended to me.  Just saying.]

Stanley from Greenville, South Carolina

It was a no brainer.  She got out in front of it and made it seem like it was her brave idea.  And she got a lot of credit for it.  Who cares?  It came down.  We were there at the protest.  Heidi and her class took time away from their studies to walk down to the State House to witness the historic furling of the flag.  That flag that stood for states' rights to be sure.  Mainly for states' rights to own other people like property.  Then later for states' rights to keep a group of people down, to keep in their lower place, to keep them from voting, from drinking at the same water fountains as whites, from swimming in public pools and eating in the same spaces.  

Whatever.  

It came down.  

And it seemed like the beginning of a new era in South Carolina.  And maybe a new era in our country.  If that flag could come down, then maybe other symbols of racism could be removed.  Maybe the Nine wouldn't have died in vain.  Maybe Dylan Roof would have started a new beginning of lives lived in peaceful understanding and celebration of our differences.  Maybe our kids could grow up in a world where we learned from our mistakes and we put racism behind us.  Maybe the Confederate flag would be a relic, a symbol of a bygone era before we were sensitive to the hateful memories it stirred.  Just maybe...

I remember that time when the flag came down as one of hope.  I love South Carolina.  I love the soft drawl and the wide open hospitality.  I love the way people down here ease into conversation with sincere questions about family.  I love the unhurried lifestyle and the gentility.  I love the fact that people let you in if you are stuck in traffic - even if it means they make themselves a little bit later.  I love the "please" and "thank you" and the way people hold doors for each other.  I love seeing mixed race couples and the beautiful children in these families.  I love teaching in a classroom where children of all races come together to talk about how to make a better world.  

And then I see this as I am driving through the country.  Then I wonder how far we've come.  

Read more here: http://www.thestate.com/news/politics-government/politics-columns-blogs/the-buzz/article88057212.html#storylink=cpy

Read more here: http://www.thestate.com/news/politics-government/politics-columns-blogs/the-buzz/article88057212.html#storylink=cpy

Read more here: http://www.thestate.com/news/politics-government/politics-columns-blogs/the-buzz/article88057212.html#storylink=cpy

Read more here: http://www.thestate.com/news/politics-government/politics-columns-blogs/the-buzz/article88057212.html#storylink=cpy

Read more here: http://www.thestate.com/news/politics-government/politics-columns-blogs/the-buzz/article88057212.html#storylink=cpy